The types of lies we tell
The singer Drake has a line that says:
Rappers are all liars and all women are deceitful.
The truth is, we all lie–it’s not just rappers. Lying may not be a good thing, but unfortunately, it’s in our nature, much like holding on to bad habits.
The human mind prides itself on being rational, yet many of our actions fall into the category of irrational behavior. Telling a lie may offer short-term benefits, but it is almost always detrimental in the long run.
If we accept that lying is universal, I want to argue that not all lies are the same. Some are more harmful than others. I’m not referring to the size of the lie, such as a white lie versus a big lie, but rather the nature of the lie itself.
I categorize the lies we tell into two types:
- Lies about yourself
- Lies about other people
Let’s explore these two types in more detail.
1. Lies about yourself
This is arguably the least harmful type of lie. Why? Because it primarily affects you. When you lie about yourself–whether by exaggerating your achievements, fabricating experiences, or distorting events–it can backfire when the truth comes out. While others may be disappointed in you for being dishonest, the primary damage is to your own credibility. In my view, this is far less harmful than the second type of lie.
2. Lies about other people
Lying about others is particularly tempting because it often serves to elevate your own image. This is why many people resort to such lies–shifting blame onto others to avoid responsibility. However, this type of lie is the most harmful. In my experience, people are far more forgiving when you lie about yourself than when you lie about them.
Conclusion
If you’re going to lie, try to stick to type 1 lies as much as possible. I understand the temptation to lie about others to appear blameless, but trust me–the seemingly good image you create isn’t worth the damage it causes to your relationships. No one wants to be falsely blamed, and that’s exactly what lies about others do–they shift responsibility unfairly.
Also, be wary of people who tell type 2 lies. They are dangerous, and you don’t want them in your inner circle.